1000 Oceans

It is what it is.

C'est la vie...

Home Sweet Home

Been back home quite a while now, and things are starting to fall into place.

Am still waiting for things over there to get organized, once when they are done and I have everything in my hands only then I can go ahead with my plans. As for now, I'm still considering my options...

Funny that I had come to almost the same crossroad in my life like before I left 6 years ago. Diverging roads that are so very different (but both equally important!), and if chosen incorrectly the path that I'm gonna be walking through might not be the right one for me.

Istikharah, istikharah, istikharah.

When one has no idea which one to choose, there's no better way than to leave it all in the hands of the almighty Allah. Only He knows what's best for me, my family and my future.

Ya Allah, Yang Maha Berkuasa dan Maha Mengetahui, sesungguhnya hidupku dan matiku hanyalah untuk Mu, bukakanlah pintu hatiku untuk menerima petunjuk Mu Ya Allah. Aku redha Ya Allah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim, amin...

A Sentimental Pre-Eid Moment

Still here. Still trying to tie up lose ends. Still in the process of packing up 6 years worth of memories before heading home for good.


Had a recent conversation with mom that went like this...

Me: Tahun ni banyak ke buat kuih raya?
Mak: Alah, kuih tunjuk2 je. Takde masa nak buat la. Ada dekat 20++ jenis rasanya, cukuplah tu..
Me: Hah banyaknya! Nape tak pos kat sini sikit? *dgn nada gurau*
Mak: Eh, ha ah ek, LUPA pulak anak mak sorang tu raya kat sana tahun ni! Memang TAK TERINGAT LANGSUNG lah yang. Sori..
Me: *aduih, sampai hati..*


Yeah, I know I am forgettable, haha...

Spring!

Spring is here at last! The cold/sunny/snowy weather this past week has been a real pain in the butt I tell ya. One minute it was sunny and windy, the next minute it started snowing! Darn weird it was. Skang ni banyak ler komen, lepas ni ntah-ntah rindu pulak weather kat sini bila balik Msia, huhu..

Gedebak-gedebuk it's already March; the graduation day and the license exam are just in a few months time! How time flies...and it's kind of a l'il bit scary when I start to think about what will my future be after this. Hopefully I'll make the right choices and be able to fulfill my dreams, insyaallah....

And speaking of dreams, I've been having real weird ones lately. Entah apa-apa entah, merepek je jalan citer dia. Banyak asid dalam badan ni kot, isk isk isk...

Welcoming 2010

The arrival of 2010 was celebrated in a very quiet manner, just dinner and hanging out with close friends. Heard the fireworks outside but it was too foggy to see anything and plus it was too cold to go out anyways. So we opted to welcome the new year at my place.

I have stopped making any new year's resolutions since, ermmm forever I think, but surprisingly this year it was as if something clicked in my brain and unconsciously I began to promise myself to try doing things that I've been wanting to do and to look forward to the future instead of keep looking back at the past. It was nothing specific actually, just little little things that I know I need to change/accomplish in my life so that it would be improved for the better. Well, the aim here is to TRY, we'll see how well that'll go shall we...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

May 2010 be a prosperous year for us all..

p/s: I've finally managed to sort out all my friend's request on FB that I've been neglecting because I really dunno where they all came from. Aduhai, kelakar la pulak bila ada budak baru lepas spm antar msg nak berkenalan hanya selepas tgk gambar profile tu. Dik oii, gi sambung belajor dulu lah ya...

BIrthday Wishes

There seem to be a lot of December babies in the family, and here's two more...


Khas buat adinda ku Ely & anak buah ku Eiman,

Allah selamatkan kamu

Allah selamatkan kamu
Allah selamatkan Ely & Eiman
Allah selamatkan kamu...

Panjang umurnya
Panjang umurnya
Panjang unurnya serta mulia
Serta mulia
Serta mulia...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELY & EIMAN!!

Kak Eva doakan Ely sekeluarga murah rezeki aman bahagia hingga ke akhir hayat, amiiiiiin

To My Dearest Mom...

HAPPY 56th BIRTHDAY!!

May you be blessed with all the good things in life and more...

Thank you for everything mak, I owe my life to you.

Miss you & Love you lots and lots!


Hugs & kisses,
From your (slightly deranged) daughter ^_^

He's 31 Today!

My dear bro,

You're getting old, hehe...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMRAN!!

Wish you all the best and may your life be blessed with an abundance of love, laughter, health & wealth...

With lots of love,
Your sist ^_^

1431H

SALAM MAAL HIJRAH 1431

Tahun Baru, Buku Baru, Azam Baru

Only When I Sleep

One of my favourite songs from The Corrs. I love their unplugged versions. Listening to this sure does brings out a lot of memories...

Apa jadi dgn diorang ek sekarang ni?
Apa-apa pun, jom layannn... ^_^

You're only just a dreamboat
Sailing in my head
You swim my secret oceans
Of coral blue and red
Your smell is incense burning
Your touch is silken yet
It reaches through my skin
And moving from within
It clutches at my breast

But it's only when I sleep
See you in my dreams
You got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But I only hear you breathe

Somewhere in my sleep
Got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But its only when I sleep

And when I wake from slumber
Your shadow's disappear
Your breath is just a sea mist
Surrounding my body
I'm workin' through the daytime
But when it's time to rest
I'm lying in my bed
Listening to my breath
Falling from the edge

But it's only when I sleep
See you in my dreams, (dreams)
You got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But I only hear you breathe
Somewhere in my sleep, (in my sleep)
Got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But its only when I sleep
It's only when I sleep

[Sharon & Andrea solo]

Up to the sky
Where angels fly
I'll never die
Hawaiian High
In bed I lie
No need to cry
My sleeping cry
Hawaiian High

It's reaching through my skin
Movin' from within
And clutches at my breasts...

But it's only when I sleep...
See you in my dreams, (dreams)
You got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But I only hear you breathe

In bed I lie
No need to cry
My sleeping cry
Hawaiian High

But it's only when I sleep
Got me spinning round and round
(Turning upside-down)

Up to the sky
Where angels fly
I'll never die
Hawaiian High

But it's only when I sleep...

BULAN BARU

I am not a Twilight-er and I haven't had the chance to read the books yet. The storyline is kinda interesting although I think I much prefer the DarkHunters because of the myths and legend background that are intertwined in the storyline. Nonetheless I was looking forward to this film interpretation of the sequel to Twilight.

I know a lot of you guys out there are Edward's fans, but if I were Bella I think I'd have chosen Jacob over him. True, vampires are considered cool, but the wolves are waaaaay cooler.. I wish I could have one as a pet, hehe..

Edward is as Edward was. Still pale and freakishly good looking, and most of the times emotionless (but hey, he's a vampire right). Tapi yg nak carik nahas sebab nak mati kalau si Bella tu mati apa ke hal nya, hisy...

I tried to give Bella a chance to redeem herself but, nope sorry, still can't say that I empathize with her. I've never liked damsels in distress and brainless careless hopeless damsels are much worse. Just like Sookie (of True Blood), she irritates the heck out of me. Sampaikan satu tahap tu heran gak apa lah si Edward & Jacob see in her, tak paham betul..

Jacob..well, gotta say he's changed. A lot. Thank goodness. Not through so many words he had managed to show his unrequited love for Bella through his actions and I really feel for him. Cian dia..

All in all, the movie was ok. Although not a fan I really enjoyed it. Oh, and it did help that the wolves were smokin'... :))

The Psychic Connection

Have you ever had someone calling you just when you were thinking about that person? Or people coming to see you because they suddenly felt like it when at the same time you just thought that you wanted to see them too?

How about the bad vibes; the ones where your whole being just tingles and you know deep inside that something is just gonna go wrong or something has gone wrong?

I don't know what all these feelings are and I can't really explain them, but I've been having them almost all my life. Some of the time I just disregard them because they made no sense at all, but most of the time they are right on. Confused? Yeah well I am too...

Just recently had an unexpected call from a long lost friend. Lately I've been wondering about how that person was doing and if there are any new developments in his life when BOOM! Suddenly today I got a call from him out of nowhere... And this had happened to me more times than I could remember. Not with the same person, but with other friends and family too.

But the one thing that I never want to experience again was when my father passed away. I don't know how or why, but the truth is deep in my heart I knew exactly when it happened. The dread and heaviness and emptiness inside me just got worse and the bad feeling just would not go away that up to a point I even told my friend that I knew something bad had happened and I think he's dead. Spooky? Heck yeah. There was also this one time when I was very young, my grand-aunt told me how I couldn't stop crying like as if I was spooked (macam kena sampuk she said) and at that same moment my mom was actually involved in a car accident somewhere else. Crazy huh..

And don't get me started on my dreams. As weird as they are, some actually did come true. And deja-vu? Well, it's getting worse nowadays because they are getting more and more frequent.

Is this normal? I'm sure a lot of people experienced these before. It's not a biggie, right??

I don't know, maybe these are all just coincidences. Maybe my connection with people close to me are strong. Maybe. Or maybe, I am slowly and gradually losing control of reality and losing my mind...

But don't worry, no need to get me into the straight jacket yet. I am still sane. I think. At least for now.

I WILL SURVIVE!!

Let's get jiggy, ladies!

At first I was afraid I was petrified

Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong!
And I learned how to get along!

So now you're back from out of space

I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock!
I should have made you leave your key!
If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me

Go on now, go, walk out that door!
Just turn around now
cause you're not welcome any more
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt (crush) me with goodbye?
Did I crumble
Did I lay down and die

Oh no, not I! I will survive!
Oh and as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give
And I'll survive!
I will survive! Hey, hey!

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Kept tryin' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart!
And I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry!
But now I hold my head up high

And you see me somebody new!
I'm not that chained-up little person still in love with you
And so you feel like droppin' in
and just expect me to be free,
now I'm saving all my loving for someone who is loving me!

Pecah Kaca Pecah Gelas

I broke one of my mugs today. Again. Now I only have one usable mug. Oh dear, I really don't have any luck with mugs. That was the fifth one I've managed to break since the 5 years I've been here. One for each year. Ironic, isn't it?

As far as superstitions go, well I'm not really a believer, but I do hope everything back home is okay. A broken mug is just a broken mug, nothing more. I hope. Touch wood.

I know it has been a while since I've blogged about anything before the previous post, but I was too busy relocating my sorry behind to another apartment. Oh, have I mentioned that I've moved? Yes I have. My dear housemate Ms JZ is finally done with her studies here and has already gone back home for good, thus leaving me the thrilling task of finding a new housemate. But things didn't exactly go as planned, so I had to move out to another place. So now I am staying somewhere not really near the university but the distance is still okay, as long as I leave earlier for classes. And as it turns out my current housemates are also my classmates (people who have known me for 5 years now). They had a vacant room at the same time that I was looking for a place, and I guess things worked out in the end. Cool eh?

Moving to another place was really a hassle, especially when you also have to pack all the stuff and do all the cleaning/clearing/disposing on your own and you only have two days to do it. In the end I threw away most of the stuff that has been in the house for more than 7 years and just kept the things that I really needed. No point hanging on to things that in the end will only accummulate space and dust, right?

But what really touched me when I was really stuck and in need was the concern and help that some of my friends that had really surprised me. They had went all the way to help me move my stuff, and even consented on storing some of the things in their place for the time being. Some had even offered to help out in any way that they can, helped to look around for a suitable apartment, and some had even offered me to stay at their houses until I could find my own place. That was when I really felt that even though I am on my own here, I am never alone, for I have caring friends that I have considered as my family over here. Their concern and actions really really touched me and it brings out tears in my eyes every time I think about it.

Therefore, to all of you who have been there for me when I'm in need, THANK YOU from the very bottom of my heart. I hope I can be a good friend as you guys have been to me, and hopefully our friendships will last for eternity...


p/s: Sorry for the emo entry. Didn't plan it to be so, but I just had to get it out of my system... *sob*

Sesucinya Syurga Cintaku

CINTA:-

Cinta kepada Allah & Rasul serta agama-Nya;
Cinta kepada ibubapa yang melahirkan dan membesarkan kita;
Cinta kepada bangsa dan tanahair;
dan yang paling penting sekali;
Cinta kepada diri sendiri, agar kita ni sentiasa redha dengan qada' dan qadar.


Cinta itu adalah permulaan Jodoh.


Dan JODOH pula terbahagi kepada 3:-

Yang Pertamanya, dikatakan Jodoh dari Syaitan;
"Kamu berdua berkenalan, berpegangan tangan dan terus buat maksiat. Akhirnya Syuhada mengandung. Baru kamu menikah."

Yang Keduanya, Jodoh dari Jin.
"Kamu berdua berkenalan. Kamu sukakan Syuhada, tapi Syuhada tak sukakan kamu. Kamu bomohkan dan sihirkan agar Syuhada suka kepada kamu. Dan kamu berdua menikah."

Dan yang Ketiganya, Jodoh dari Allah.
"Kamu berdua berpandangan mata, terus menusuk ke dalam kalbu. Kamu terus meminang Syuhada dan Syuhada terima pinangan kamu. Dan kamu berdua menikah. Insyaallah, berkekalan hingga ke akhir hayat. Dan itulah yang dikatakan Syurga Cinta..."

- Petikan daripada filem Syurga Cinta -

Entah kenapa tiba-tiba je bergenang airmata bila dengar dialog ni. If only.....

Home Sweet Home

I'm hoooooome!! Been here almost 3 weeks now, and there were so many things have happened, so much to tell but so very little time. And all the running around + the weather is making me feeling sickly with the usual coughing fits and runny nose. Haiyo, manyak susah lor...

It was only tonight that I could actually sit at home and surf the net leisurely. Seriously, I don't know how the time just flew past by; from the exam session to the packing & room cleaning to the 2-days journey back home to the 3-days leadership training to the wedding preparations plus family time, I haven't had a full day rest as yet. Not that I'm complaining because all of those moments are precious and memorable (except for the packing part) but even though I don't feel my age my body seems to be constantly reminding me that I am getting older.

I had to pack all of my stuff before leaving coz I might have to move to another place when I get back to Romania. Thanks to some misunderstandings and kecoh-ness I could only start packing a day before leaving. 1 DAY. Apa lagi, memang speed packing la jawab nya.

I wish Iasi is nearer to Malaysia, because traveling for 2 days is just too much. Although there are other airlines that offer a much direct and simpler route, but the fare is higher of course. So to be economical I took the one with 3 transits (the last one in Dubai was 10 hours), left Iasi Thursday afternoon & reached KLIA Friday night. Memang pancit by the time sampai rumah.

And then out of the blue mom told me that she had already signed me up for a 3-days leadership training by ESQ 165 in KL. At first I was like "What??!!" and was really annoyed (to say the least), but after it was over I didn't regret it one bit. I am now proud to say that I am an ESQ 165 Alumni Angkatan KL-36. It was really a soul-cleansing and mind-stimulating training that I feel everyone should attend for a better understanding of what our purpose is on this earth. And the best part is, once you have attended the basic training and become an alumni you can come again for recharging sessions for free! You can visit their website for further info, and they have trainings all over the country plus they even do in-house trainings. I have went and recharged once at PICC last weekend, and planning to recharge again for the coming training insyaallah. Maju satria ESQ 165!

And after that there was the wedding of my beloved cousin. Hah ni satu lagi. I was really surprised and touched that she would asked me to be her bridesmaid for both the wedding receptions, but seriously woman, why lah so late. I was worried that I couldn't find anything suitable to wear for the occasion but luckily I have managed to find the perfect baju kurung (a traditional malay costume) for both our side and the groom's side reception. It wasn't that easy to find a nice silver and rosewood pink dresses with matching scarves but somehow or rather I've managed to find really pretty ones at reasonable prices. And what's funny is that I found it all under one roof. Convenient eh?
The wedding itself deserves its own post so I guess I better save the juicy details for another time.

And fyi, that was the first time I was a bridesmaid, first time that I had (allegedly) caught the bouquet, and first time that I wasn't really bothered by the most dreaded question that I seem to get every time there's a family gathering. I guess I've gotten used to it kot. Abis nak wat camno, senyum je la...

Sigh, the downside is, whenever I come back home I always get sick. I guess the humid dusty weather is just too much for my body after so long in a dry cold climate. Fever I can handle, but the chesty dry cough is the one that I most dreaded because it usually takes me several weeks for the cough to disappear. As I'm typing now I am barking like nobody's business that I think it can even be heard next door at my aunt's house. Yup, that loud I am and it has been so bad that I have lost my voice since yesterday. Oh and I don't think it's H1N1 because it's been 2++weeks since I've been home so there's no possibility of imported transmission. But then again local transmission oso got right? Hmmmm......

All in all, it's really good to be back home again. I've realized I miss having the family and friends around, the family outings and makan-makan get-together, and of course, the fooood! Here I am spoilt for choices, but nowadays I can't really eat that much anymore. And since I've been sick some more lah got no appettite. Tapi tak jugak turun-turun, rasa badan macam kena pam-pam je ni ada la. Isy, bahaya bahaya ;p

NB: Tak tahan tgk deghoyan, pulasan, rambutan, ciku, manggis, jambu batu, mangga...& sushiiiii.....cedapnyaaa.....

Lagu2 yg Menggamit Kenangan Nostalgia

Bila dengar balik lagu-lagu ni, teringat pulak masa zaman muda remaja belia dulu...

SHADES

Siap beli kaset diorang lagi tau (zaman dulu mana ada lagi CD-CD ni ler). Ada 2 sebab.
Satu: Suka dengar diorang punya harmonisation, & kalau diorang perform live best jugak la. Lagu 'Malam' & 'Jangan Kau Ucap Selamat Tinggal' ni antara my favourites & yang temankan study memalam masa kat asasi sains UM dulu.
Dua: Masa tu ada 'ter'minat gila kat one of them, heheh... :D

FEMININ

Adusss, lagu yang dipaksa kena nyanyi masa minggu haluansiswa kat 6th college dulu. Masa tu abis je lecture belum sempat kitorang nak keluar lecture hall seniors semua serbu masuk & terus 'kena'kan kitorang, huhu. Sebab nak kena ambik tandatangan punya pasal terpaksa la jugak tebalkan muka. Lawak la jugak bila teringat balik kena nyanyi lagu ni sekuat hati kat dalam lecture hall, nasib baik tak hujan lepas tu, kekekeke...

KOOL

Bebas; peribadi mu, perhatikan lah
Bebas; tingkah laku mu,
Jangan sampai tersalah pilihan hidupmu, yeah...
Jaga lah personalitimu
Bebas masa depanmu...

Good advice, ain't it? ^_^


Agaknya apa lah citer diorang semua sekarang ni ek?

I wonder.....

NB: Sah dah takde keja lain skang ni. Exam habis sudah, kena start packing+mengemas lah pulak. Aduhai, kemalasan melanda diriku ini.....

Does Voodoo Really Work?

So what do you think? :-)


NB: Post-exam mode. Very very sleepy. But very happy too. Very the unexpected. Very very tired. Now need to zzzzzzzzzz

Kempunan Mode

Selamat datang ke rancangan 'Mengidam' yang dibawakan khas dari Iasi dan diiringi oleh orkestra USPER:

Dengan ini adalah dukacita dimaklumkan bahawasanya saya telah pun mencapai tahap mengidam yang kronik sehinggakan terbawa-bawa ke dalam mimpi di malam (dan juga siang) hari.

Sekian. Terima Kasih.


Nb: Gambar-gambar di atas adalah untuk hiasan semata-mata. Sila klik pada gambar untuk ke laman web asal. Harap maklum.

Another year older...

...and none the wiser... *sigh*

THE day when I turned another year older was eleven days ago. Yeah I know, this is 'stale news' already, but I seriously didn't have the time to write about that day before this due to the exams.

When I was younger birthdays were anticipated events. You kinda looking forward to add that extra year in your age. But when one gets older one tends to stop counting the candles on their cake. Well, at least I did. Especially this year when my beloved classmates actually put my age's worth of candles on the ice-cream cake. Go figure the cake started to melt even before I blew out the candles, heheh...

And another first for me this year, is that we actually had an exam on my birthday! Luckily it was Pediatrics Surgery, which for me is a subject that is kind of interesting. The Qs? Undescended testis, esophageal atresia, Ortolani & Barlow maneuvers in congenital hip dysplasia etc etc. And alhamdulillah things were good during the exam. If not I don't think I'd enjoy the day as much as I did.

By the time I reached home after the exam it was already 2pm. After my (very much needed) short nap, the girls served me home-cooked pasta, some jemput2-like thingy (what was it ah Shrn??) and a birthday cake! Cho chweet of them, especially the cake part. It was sooooo my type of cake, and was made by my dearest roomie. Vanilla-flavoured-strawberry-swiss-rolled-up cake. Y.U.M.M.Y... Thank you Ms.JZ!! I wuv it! I'll upload a photo of it when (or if) one of you Gummus decided to send me the photos ok.

That afternoon was even merrier when Ms.Rv and Ms.KG came over and hang out. I missed hanging out with Ms.KG especially, as things weren't what it was like before after a misunderstanding/disagreement between us. I really appreciate the fact that she made an effort to patch things up between us as I am keen on doing it too. Well, we'll see how things go after this shall we.

And then later in the evening, my darling classmates gave me a dinner treat at a very nice eatery just nearby my place. Never knew of the existence of this place before, but the decor was so cozy I loved it. I was so touched that most of them came even though all of us were still pretty exhausted after the exam. We ordered, we ate, and then came the candle-full ice-cream cake. Honestly, I only realized that I am already THAT old when I saw the number of candles that they've managed to squeeze onto it. Gee, thanks for reminding me of my age yet again you guys... ;P

All in all, even though it was just another day in my calendar, it was definitely not just an ordinary day. I had fun, laughter and a blast with my friends and colleagues. They certainly made the day more bearable and something to be remembered back fondly.

And I love the pressies! I'll treasure them always. They're really cool and I especially love the treasure chests. Was just admiring them the other day in the shop while imagining how it would look on my vanity dresser and now I have them! Now that's truly the power of The Secret, teeheehee...

THANKS A MILLION guys!!

Hugs, hugs, hugs and more virtual hugs from me ^_^

n.b.: More piccas will be uploaded at a later date, haven't got the time to transfer them yet :)